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How to eat God
A Helpful Guide for Amateur Culinary Artists: An Introduction
It was as easy to catch Him as you expect, and even easier to do it on your own! All you have to do now is select one of various limbs to cut. Consult the enclosed diagram to help with your selection of the best cuts of the creature. Careful to drain and dispose of the Blood beforehand, or you’ll have a mess of divine proportions on your hands.
A note on Blood:
Blood should be disposed of in a suitable manner. Do not allow the Blood to reach any public water source or natural reserve as it is considered a biohazard. The technical term for the specific subcategory of this biohazard does not yet exist, but with the increasing rate of discovery and capture, we are sure it will soon.
To dispose of Blood, simply drain the beast into a large container, which can be sealed. Make sure that the container is approximately 120m x 120m x 120m, and approximately 5m thick, and constructed of a solid, reliable metal, such as Iron, Titanium, or an alloy of two or more.
Make sure to conduct regular checks on your store of Blood. Discoloration (usually a rusty tint around the edges or reduction in the volume) indicate impurities, in which case you ought to replace to container or the air-tight seals.
